Poem 19: Deep Connections

 it's like I'm trying to figure you out, 

you keep shutting me out, 

and I'm stuck wondering if- shit ... 

is it the clout?

my name holds weight and baby I know that's not word of mouth . 

but, I'm trying to show you something more than just the mouth. 

let me inside like how you slip and slide inside of my insides because you know that shit aint a drought. 

I'm trynna show you more , love on you more , show you that real love , deep connections , and simplicity can exist in world thats so - 

ion know ... broken? toxic? hell bent?

and you keep causing distance 

the fuck is up with you ? you stuck on stupid ?

let me chill ... pause. that was the aggressiveness inside of me . 

I just want you tell me whats inside ,

stop holding back because I give you more than clarity . 

I am your sanity . 

I lock you up, you throw away the key and you be ducked off because thats just me. 

I wanna love you ... 

I wanna love you because I know what its like not to be loved 

I want you to feel safe when I'm giving you those hugs . 

I want you to know and understand that I'm here and nothing or no one is shutting shit down. 

ride with you till the wheels fall off? I said that... 

didn't I ?

but don't think imma put up with your bullshit cuz if thats the case you can keep on 

and look at me being aggressive again ... 

you call me toxic but you love it here . 

you say I'm toxic but never make it clear 

you say its toxic

so why the fuck you still here? 

is it because you know that I care for you? 

ill break my back 10x over to constantly prove to you...? 

well fuck that cuz thats the old me. 

best believe ill stomp you out for ever trynna play me.

I love you , but I can't love you more than me 

so I'll go find myself and I'll see you later if it's really meant to be.