Toxic🤍

Toxic 🤍

I can feel it spiraling 

out of the land of slides 

and merry-go-rounds, 

where the kids used to run

in circles

around the disk with metal bars.

They’d build up the momentum

hop on, and hold tight, 

trusting the spin would slow.

I can feel the force

well beyond those playground days.

You and I,

still spiraling

as if stuck in the moment

of strongest momentum.

I’ve let go,

but you won’t let me depart. 

So, we are spiraling.

I’m angry with you ... 50% of the time. 

But I’m not gonna lie; I miss you, and no matter what I do you’re never far off my mind. 

I want to yell at you. I want to grab your shoulders and shake and just ask you why you had to make me fall in love with you. But I know that I can’t blame you. It’s no ones fault but mine. 

Crazy thing is I never even told you I loved you. I would probably never say those words out loud either. Because I hate real feelings and saying it out loud only makes it that much more real. 

But I feel it. 

I know it. 

Just like I know the feeling of being Toxic. 

It’s embedded. 

I’m an airplane waiting to crash and you?

You were the inside of a pit waiting for me to fall into you. 

I would say I hate you... but I can’t because with you there’s nothing but a comfortability that only you can bring to me. 

And that’s that toxic shit.