inabilities

And there I was, drowning. Choking on my own thoughts with the inability to scream for help, until my thoughts took control. Thoughts of you. screaming so loud in my head and i guess that’s when i realized ... I’m not over you . You took control for a slight moment. Maybe a little more than that. Because my breathing became steady and my mind seemed more clearer and i finally became at ease. 

Infatuated about the thoughts of “We.” I spoke to you, i spoke more than twice . And twice i should never speak because you heard me the first time and you just didn’t care. So why ? Why am i here ? Stuck reminiscing on the old times ? Stuck wondering back in time ? 

I knew all along that it was you who controlled my emotions but i never knew that the feelings were like this and now I’m hurting because i realize that the love i had gave was real. There i was drowning and choking with the inability to stop because in that moment i realized i needed my rock and you was not here. My breathing felt like it was tampered with, my throat began to close and the thoughts of you were imposed. 

~Asia🥀