Dear Diary 📔

Pov from the past : 

I met a boy today. 

he reminded me of you in every way and the thing about it is that it\"s kinda sad because he was really cute and i kinda wanted to flirt back but I couldn\"t gather the strength to do so because you were on my mind. 

I mean in time maybe i\"ll get over you but in time i know we\"ll be over too, and right now we\"re still teens. 

i\"m holding on to the hurt, the love, the emotions and the thought of you. But, i will move on and smile because i know that i deserve to. 

you see the thought of you? yeah. It causes me pain. But the thought of you i cannot seem to replace because it was only you when nobody else was there so i know there\"s no replacing you in my heart because that love is genuinely there. 

Will i ever open up and tell you this face to face? hell nah. 

The shit you put me through, i should\"ve had my brother kill you. 

But, with every person that walks in your life comes a blessing and a lesson and i\"m not gonna lie and sit here and tell you that you weren\"t a blessing at one point of time. 

You had me all up in my feelings,  had me crying and shit and you best believe those were the signs of a woman who really loved you because if i didn\"t those tears wouldn\"t have dripped boo. 

you see here i am opening up. To myself boy you got me burning up. You see my hands is shaking, my blood is boiling and in my mind you got me thinking some stuff. But you see i can openly admit that i\"m thankful for you the stuff that we been through made me. So I can honestly say a bitch really fuck with you . 

So time? 

That\"s what I was talking about. I\"ll wait it out . I\"ll wait for the feelings to go away and when they do and I\"m able to move on and fuck another Nigga without thinking of you, I know that I\"ve won. I\"ve known that I\"ve won because you\"d be hurt because I\"m so far gone and you have no more power of my once so ravaged heart that had once belonged. 

So dear diary I ask you this do you know what it\"s like to still be in love with a nigga that\"s hurt you for whatever reason it is ? 

Dear diary let me ask you again... if time heals all and I heal why is that he\"ll only feel ? 

I know you don\"t have all the answers but if it\"s time that does it please give me all the time it takes to wipe away this pain. 

~Asia🥀