The Shit I Don’t Say Pt4

I had to get to the point of understanding that just because my past has been damaged doesn’t mean my future has to be worthless too . 

And I get it .

 I know I have a bad attitude , but that has nothing to do with you … if anything you’re one of the only things that give me a peace of mind and clarity in this shitty ass world . 

And you get it . Me . Well you take the time too & at this point if I lose you I may lose my second best friend and that’s not a chance I’m willing to take with you . So , yeah ! Damn right imma get mad at you because I need you to see that I’m not fighting with you I’m on the side of you . 

And this is the shit that be popping up in my mind from time to time and I’m not really a communicator . Well I am … but , not always in the best ways . So man… take this as The shit I don’t say . 

And you’re beautiful … see , that was never your problem . You had potential and that was the problem everyone seen it but you and that’s why you was always stopping . You felt discouraged huh ? Felt like you wasn’t living huh ? Always confused for nothing ? Yeah . Fuck that ! Bitch you’re lit and popping ! 

I realized that I was that bitch when I realized that y’all ain’t shit and I can’t keep pretending to be happy living life for people who aren’t even happy themselves within themselves . I started living life for me , I started living life care free , I started doing this life shit for me and living happily in the skin that I’m in and shit all I can say is jolly!!! 

But I’m not the one to toot my own horn y’all know I’m humble for sure . I’m just a bitch that’s in my bag and that’s always gonna last let me keep this deck in the pile of shit I don’t say . 

Damn pops … I don’t know what to say … I love you but I love me more and I’m sorry that it’s ending this way . You still my best friend and all of that . But it’s cool imma just have to fall back and imma still make you proud when I touch a Milli somehow and I’ll be flying you on jets too . I know you want the best for me and I want it too . I just can’t want the best for me how you want me too . I got my own life and story so imma tell the truth … just know when I tell this story , you can’t even get mad at dude . You know I don’t lie to you , fuck around & will hide from you but never for long cuz I cry to you . But there’s just a whole lotta shit that I don’t say .